Snowfall in Boulder this morning in January.

Holding out is a stamina of standards. It is a derivative of faith. You can hold out when you root into the belief that you’re worthy—worthy of the best version of what you want. 
Hold out, love. Be alone. Keep doing the work. Go without. Let the space you want to be filled stay open and clear. It requires more strength but as it turns out, holding out is seriously efficient. You won’t have to untangle as much, or backtrack, or extricate yourself from all the things that you could have compromised on.  -Danielle Laporte

This speaks to me so god damn loudly.  This statement has been missing in my life and I didn’t even know it.

I read this each morning right before I start my yoga practice.  I also read it throughout my day.  It seems I need a constant reminder that I am worthy.  I often sell myself short.  Whoa, wait, what?  Why???  Because I didn’t value my self worth.

What I take from this daily verse is that I need to stand up to myself and the world a hell of alot more.  Everyone needs to hear this badass woman roar!  I will not be bitchy about it.  No.  I don’t think that’s necessary in the least bit.  But I will take no shit.

This is all going to start with observing and understanding how I treat myself.  Lately I’ve been on the go quite a bit which has some how resulted in me neglecting my workouts.  I am someone who thrives off fitness.  Having let it slip away abit has definitely lowered my energy and affected my mood.

Instafix: daily workouts resume today.  If you want to follow along I am in week 2 of a 12 week program that I created.  I use the Trainerize app and it’s super simple to follow along.
My diet has also been thrown way the fuck off while traveling.  Im all about living it up while abroad or even while embarking on some stateside travel, but when im home I need my diet to be on point.  Now by on point I don’t mean super strict.  No.  I do not miss my days of only tilapia and asparagus, although I do still love the mindless ease of that super simple meal.  I simply need to cut out the bullshit.  For me that means eliminating the cookie bar at Whole Foods and also accepting the fact that if I buy a bag of tortilla chips/rice chips/pirate booty then I will eat the whole bag, so I simply can not buy such things.

Instafix: Begin the week off right by preparing a grocery list, sticking to the list, and meal prepping.  That’s the easy part.

To curb my late night desire for carbs I will be ingesting either a naturally sweet tea, a sleep-inducing tea, or say “fuck tea, Im hungry!” and sip on casein protein powder mixed w either unsweetened almond milk or water.  This option is processed but I will pick my battles.
I think the following bits of what Danielle says are the most impactful for me:

Hold out, love. Be alone. Keep doing the work. 

Ugh, it’s hard!  But I can do it.  One day at a time.

Go without. 

I don’t need “stuff” and I most certainly don’t need empty relationships.  Anyone who gets a bit of my time will be authentic and deserving of my precious time and energy.

Let the space you want to be filled stay open and clear. 

I will stop filling my space with things and people that don’t support my goals.  My space is not ready to be shared with anyone at the moment and that needs to be a constant reminder to myself.  I will feel alone and I will have that nasty gut wrenching pain, but if I sit still for a moment without reaching for a crutch, the frequency and intensity of such things will fade.